


Winter Vacation

by jashinist_feminist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Christmas Vacation, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Snow, Vacation, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21942253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jashinist_feminist/pseuds/jashinist_feminist
Summary: Kakuzu and Hidan both hate Christmas, and decide to make a getaway. But a snow storm, a stuck car, and Kakuzu's cash-saving stubbornness remind them that they really appreciate each other.
Relationships: Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 120
Collections: Akatsuki Gift Exchange





	Winter Vacation

**Author's Note:**

> Here is some KakuHida sweetness for the holidays! Even they have their own fluffy way of celebrating during the season, even if they both hate Christmas XD

A tiny flake of snow fluttered through the sky, and melted against the windscreen of the car. A wiper swept it away, and revealed the clear open road ahead of them.

Hidan lounged back in his chair, with his feet up on the dashboard. Kakuzu had long since given up demanding he remove them, and concentrated on the road, fingers gripping the steering wheel, right foot pressing against the accelerator, eyes scanning the road ahead.

Hidan yawned loudly, and crossed his legs.

“I’m fucking bored,” he announced.

Kakuzu almost retorted that Hidan should attempt driving, but then decided against it. Hidan would undoubtedly want to take up his offer, and that was a recipe for disaster.

“Find a way to entertain yourself,” he grunted.

“Oh, really?” asked Hidan, sitting upright. He put one hand on his crotch. “In that case-”

“No, Hidan!” shouted Kakuzu.

Hidan shrieked with laughter as the car jolted. Kakuzu put his foot back on the accelerator, and shook his head.

Both of them were escaping the holiday mania. Kakuzu was a sensible man who did not resort to splashing cash for no other purpose than...splashing cash. People gave presents to people they didn’t even like for no other reason than to show off. Kakuzu was not going to waste his hard-earned cash on that in the slightest.

But the nice thing was, Kakuzu was not alone in his hatred. Hidan was here.

His husband Hidan was a Jashinist, and there was no Christmas in Jashinism, or even...a Jashinmas? And Hidan seemed to want to be as far away from all the heathens celebrating as much as Kakuzu did.

And that was how they found themselves, on Christmas Eve, driving up the motorway while everyone else carried on with their shopping frenzy.

Their food supplies sat stacked in the back of the car, along with their cases, for everything they could want for a quiet few days away from the mania. Kakuzu had packed a tonne of books he’d been meaning to read, planning to sip tea as he perused through them all.

When they had left town earlier that day, the weather had been bright and frosty, with the sun casting a golden sheen over the roads. Now, as they drove further out, cloud cast over, thick fluffy white clouds that clung lower over the surface of the earth.

Kakuzu’s wipers scraped away another snowflake on the windscreen. He sighed, and settled into a comfortable speed as the amount of cars thinned out. Hidan rolled back in the chair and stuck his feet back up, twining his Jashin pendant between his fingers.

Kakuzu turned off the motorway, decelerating down the slip road, before turning off on a smaller road. It was even quieter here, and the lack of traffic on this road meant that drifts of snow had begun to settle over the tarmac. Kakuzu’s car kicked it up, pushed it aside. Hidan reached over, and fiddled with the heater, turning it up to full blast and settling back with his toes over the vent.

“The whole car will stink of your feet,” warned Kakuzu.

“My feet smell fucking beautiful.”

“No they don’t.”

“They smell much better than yours. Yours are fucking disgusting old man feet.”

“These fucking disgusting old man feet won’t be walking along the edge of a single carriageway like yours will when I throw you out in a moment,” threatened Kakuzu.

“You wouldn’t throw me out, Kuzu, you love me too much,” Hidan gleefully grinned.

“I love money.”

“And me.”

“Just money.”

“And you have a little gap in your heart for me.”

“There are no gaps in any of my hearts for you.”

“But you married me.”

“Against my better judgement for tax breaks.”

“But you have sex with me.”

Kakuzu was quiet for a moment. “That’s not such a bad bargain.”

Hidan howled with laughter. He wriggled his toes and moved them off the heater. Kakuzu leant forwards, scrutinising the low lying clouds. A fat snowflake slapped across the windscreen, and the wiper batted it away. But now they were working slower, with more and more water and ice to press away. Kakuzu sniffed, disgruntled, realising it was getting thicker and heavier. They had to be an hour away from the cabin they had rented by now.

He turned off the single carriageway, and onto a country lane. Kakuzu pressed the accelerator, gaining traction as he went uphill. Thicker flutters of snowflakes landed on the car, and Kakuzu pressed against the accelerator again for more power, but the car complained bitterly.

He skipped down a gear, and then pressed against the accelerator again, and yet the car still complained. He went back down another gear, hoping this would do the trick. The car revs roared, and the car shot forward.

“Bloody hell old man, are you getting too old to drive?” asked Hidan, jerking upright.

“No,” growled Kakuzu. “It’s getting stuck in the snow and the mud.”

“Are we nearly there yet?” complained Hidan.

“About an hour,” Kakuzu sighed, as he turned the corner and the car went downhill. This was easier, as the drop of the hill gave the car more speed. He turned the corner, finding himself on flatter ground for a few blissful metres, but then groaned, as the terrain rose.

Kakuzu stamped on the gas, but it was too late. Hitting the bottom of the hill, the car juddered to a halt, and stalled.

Kakuzu scowled, and turned off the ignition. He put the gear back into neutral, before flicking it back on. Deciding that restarting would probably be best, he put it into first gear, found a slightly higher biting point, and then tapped the gas pedal.

Releasing the handbrake, he expected the car to begin climbing the hill, but it juddered sadly, and stalled again.

“You piece of shit,” cursed Kakuzu.

He tried again, using a higher biting point, tapping more gas, but the car simply wasn’t having it.

“We’re stuck,” announced Hidan.

“Oh really? I couldn’t tell,” scowled Kakuzu. He gave it one more go, and then sighed, resting back in the seat. His eyes strained with tiredness, and he yawned. He’d been driving for four hours straight, and he wasn’t as young as he once was. The concentration was draining, and he needed a tea. Or a coffee. Something warm and wet.

“What are we going to do?” pestered Hidan.

“I’m not walking,” said Kakuzu firmly. “All our stuff is in here.”

“Should we dig ourselves out?” asked Hidan.

“You can,” said Kakuzu, folding his arms and sulking. “It looks cold out there.”

Snow was now settling across the road in front of them, along the foliage at the edge of the road.

“I think we’re stuck here,” said Hidan. “Look how much snow there is!”

“I’ll call car recovery,” sighed Kakuzu, hunting across the dashboard for his mobile. He scooped it up, glanced at the screen, and then shook his head. “No signal!”

“What about mine?” asked Hidan, lifting his mobile. “Oh shit...no battery. I was snapchatting Deidara.”

“Fucking idiot,” scolded Kakuzu.

“What? Deidara likes my sexy face.”

Kakuzu rested his forehead on the steering wheel, wondering how to fix this. There was nothing wrong with his car, he’d checked it before they drove off and it had been fine the whole time they had been travelling. Now that the wipers weren’t going back and forth, the snow settled over the windshield, concealing their view.

They were getting snowed in.

“Fuck this shit,” said Hidan, tossing his phone in the air and catching it. “We should have stayed in town.”

Kakuzu lifted an eyebrow. “And dealt with all the Christmas crap?”

“No, just grabbed discounted turkey,” shrugged Hidan. “You’re the one who wanted to go away.”

“Christmas has shit memories for me.”

“And me,” said Hidan.

They sat quietly for a moment, before Hidan unclipped his belt, shuffled over, leant across the gear stick and the handbrake, and laid his head on Kakuzu’s shoulder. Kakuzu tilted his head down, and lightly kissed Hidan’s forehead. His nose buried in Hidan’s hair, breathing in the scent of the gel Hidan wore and the shampoo and conditioner he used. Even beneath Hidan’s manly scent, he sometimes swore he could smell a baby powder smell, although he was hardly going to tell Hidan that.

“Well, now we can spend it freezing our arses off in a car,” said Kakuzu, laying his hand on Hidan’s cheek, and gently stroking his smooth skin. “How do you think we should fix this?”

“Can I drive?” asked Hidan, lifting his head eagerly.

Kakuzu considered it. There was no one around, so even if Hidan drove horribly, it was hardly likely that he would kill anyone and Kakuzu wouldn’t have to hurriedly hide a body.

“All right,” said Kakuzu. “Let’s switch.”

Hidan turned to the passenger door and was greeted by a tonne of snow stuck to the outside window.

“Oh fuck no I’m not going out there,” he announced.

He turned back to Kakuzu.

The next few minutes involved a strange scramble as they clamoured over each other to swap seats. Eventually, Hidan landed in the driver’s seat, and Kakuzu reclined back in the passenger seat. Hidan switched the ignition back on, and the wipers revealed a new white terrain.

“Wow,” blinked Hidan.

“The car is probably stuck in the mud underneath the snow. I’m not pushing it. If we have to do that, it’s you,” said Kakuzu.

Hidan put the car in reverse, and glanced behind him.

“What are you doing?” demanded Kakuzu.

“The question is what I’m not doing, and I’m not doing a hill start!” grinned Hidan, as the engine purred to life.

“You’re bloody stupid Hidan!” cursed Kakuzu, but even he couldn’t deny his relief as the car pulled back, the tyres turning, the engine singing once more. At the car seemed to be ok and he wouldn’t have to pay for a call out or expensive repairs.

“I’m bloody clever,” retorted Hidan, braking and then putting it back into first. “Here we go!”

Hidan slammed on the gas, and the car shot up the hill that Kakuzu had struggled with earlier. He shrieked with laughter as the revs counted, putting it into second, then third. The rest of the drive sailed smoothly, as Hidan stuck to lower gears and higher revs. Before they knew it, they pulled up outside the cabin they had rented, and Kakuzu hauled all their stuff into the small living room. There was a fireplace, a sofa, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom with a large bed that took over most of the room.

Hidan slammed the door on the snow storm, as Kakuzu bent before the fireplace.

“Holiday saved, thanks to Hidan,” declared Hidan, kicking off his shoes and sticking his feet in front of the roaring fire that Kakuzu had lit.

“It was cheating,” frowned Kakuzu. “And a waste of petrol.”

“Ohhh, is that why you’re always driving in fourth and fifth even when you’re not even going that fast?” asked Hidan.

Kakuzu ignored him, stoking the fire.

Hidan just howled with laughter, suspicion confirmed. “Cheapskate.”

“If you don’t shut up, I won’t give you your present tomorrow.”

“I thought you hated Christmas,” said Hidan.

“I do hate Christmas,” grunted Kakuzu. “But I don’t hate buying presents for my husband that quite so much.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have done,” said Hidan, clamouring up and plonking a kiss on Kakuzu’s cheek. “Well, I’ve got a present for you too.”

They both looked equally disgruntled by their secret foray into the commercialised bullshit holiday they hated, but this was the one time of year they could truly be alone with no commitments to work or anyone else. Kakuzu could read his books, Hidan could watch murder documentaries, and at the end, they could snuggle.

Best to make the most of it.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> They had a good winter break away from the Christmas craziness, and didn't come back until the New Year.


End file.
